Dance 2.9.12!!!!

So I have a turnabout winter formal dance 2.9.13!!! A turnabout dance for those of you who don't know is a dance where the girls ask the guys to be their date. It's interesting. Any guys gonna be in the Plainfield- joliet area that night? I'd love to take you. Lol. Jk. I'm not going with anyone(a guy I mean) I don't really like anyone right now. Ill probably go with my bff alison like on homecoming. The dance is candy themed!! I've got my dress and shoes already:) Just gotta get some accessories and figure out how imma do my hair. Maybe just wavy with a waterfall braid. Or those curls you get from using a curling wand. Those are nice. I dunno yet. Maybe I'll show you guys later? I dunno. Wells byeeee:D

Kyle 5(?)

So Kyle is back with zoey. They broke up about a month ago or two. (Did I mention that before?) before that tho for a month he was going back and forth with Ashley. Oh Ashley... (Not my cousin as mentioned in the Christmas post) I met Ashley on the first day of school became friends blah blah blah. Well she's boy crazy. Insanely boy crazy. Kyle broke up with zoey and started flirting with Ashley and of course she fell for it even after Melissa and I told her it was all a game for him and he never liked her. We now he has almost nothing to do with her. And before the whole Kyle thing she dated Steven. Well the whole time Steven really liked Melissa. After a month they broke up. Melissa and Steven dated for like 3 days and broke up. Guess who got back together? Yup. Steven and Ashley. After complaining and complaining about him. Whatever. As Melissa said two idiots back together. Kyle really isn't that bad. He's nice and funny and stuff when he wants to be. Actually had a few convos with him. MelIssa and Kylie(?) and I. So yep. Kyle got back with his girl (who isn't as pretty as I thought) and Ashley is back with hers. Did I mention I'm pretty sure Stevens gay? Yea. Another story for another time. Byeeee

Christmas post!!!! (6days late. Lol)

So how was everybody's Christmas? :) Fabulous I hope. Well mine was pretty good. Helped make dinner and got a crap load of presents. The best gift was the laptop my mom got me. Although the ps3 and games and stuff from my dad were amazing too. Did you know as of like last Friday the ps2 was discontinued? I'm sad:( That was the first Playstation anything I got. I still have it actually. So my sister and Ashley got here Friday night/Saturday morning. We went shopping Saturday. Just my big sister and little sister, my mom, Rebekah, Ashley and I. Then all of us except Ashley went shopping yesterday. I got a bunch of new clothes. 11 shirts, 2 hoodies, and 4 pairs of jeans. I got mint lipgloss, perfume and lotion all from bath and body works yesterday too. The perfume is sparkly and in the shape of the Eiffel Tower:P I love it. Hopefully I'll get new shoes soon. Well I'll catch ya guys later. Gonna go try on this dress. Byeeee:)

Lost cause

Fuck my life. So we talked for the first time in like two weeks. Fucking hate myself. I ruin everything good that happens in my life. I'll never get another bf I'll never get married or have kids I'll die alone. And that's exactly what I deserve. There is zero chance we'll ever even be friends again. And it sucks. A lot. I killed him a little more on the inside. And probably ruined his night. Oh well. He's ruined the past year and a half for me by existing. I wouldn't be surprised if he never trusted another girl. Me and Shannon destroyed him. I'm no better than her. Therefore I have no right to hate her. Only difference is she had enough sense to not talk to him no matter what. And date two of his best friends.  I'm pathetic. Blogging about a lost cause. Everything bad that's happened to me is karma for the bullshit I'm always pulling. For the next two weeks I'll probably stay secluded in my room. I don't deserve human interaction. Hell I don't deserve to have my pets around me. My moms right. It's over and needs to stay that way. I am sorry for..whatever. I would never lie to him about anything. Stretch the truth sure. Lie- no. So this is it. Bye y'all.

Yea so milo hates me. It's okay I guess. I'll deal. That's what I wanted I guess. I guess it's okay. Sucks but. Wish we could be friends. And I'm not allowed to talk to him no more. So my mom said. Oh we'll byee

For good

So me and the bf broke up... Kinda awkward now. I miss him. And all the I love yous and junk. Oh well. And for clarification I broke up with him. Why you may ask. Well we never talk. And it's like the connection between us was gone. I'm the kinda girl that really needs attention because I'm not used to getting it. I can admit that unlike most girls. And he's too busy for a gf. He is. My excuse not his. He actually didn't seem to really care. That's what bothers me the most. Then again 5 months of dating can't beat a year and 5 months of knowing each other. 5 months isn't even long enough to say I love you. It's waaaay Too short. That's what gets most girls hurt. Guys too. They think they love someone when in reality they live the idea of having a companion and not being alone. I think it was a little bit of that for me. I really do love him tho. Or I think I do. I don't even know anymore. My friends say we're sooo cute together. Then they say I can do better. Then they say I should take him back. Then they say you'll find somebody else fast look at you. And trust me- I'm not that great looking. I'm short and fat and don't really look the best. One of my front teeth have been crooked since I lost it and I wear glasses!! I'm a total nerd and a bitch. I know I am. I'm not athletic. I couldn't run to save my life. (Okay so I probably could but that's beside the point) I can't ride a bike or skate because I have no balance and at this point it's kind of embarrassing not knowing how. At this point i need to follow my heart. But i don't know what to do. I'm clueless. I mean I'm happy we aren't together. But I'm sad we aren't. I think we're better off a part. But i wanna be selfish and keep him. I don't wanna talk to him because it's awkward and kinda sad for me. Yet it kills me to not pick up my phone and text him. I made my decision. And I CAN'T go back. So I guess it's over. For good. Bye

Him

So I'm friends with this kid. He's awesome. He's funny and sweet and cool and totally obsessed with basketball. We met on this video game. Sounds dangerous I know. Well he's my age and stuff. (I know this for a fact) And when we talk its different. I find myself smiling a lot and I feel like a total dork. And it's nice talking to him. He's not unemotional like most guys. He uses a ton of smiley faces and says aww and   He says lol and hahaha a lot...lol. He's cool. And he's not one if those guys that's obsessed with a sport and that's all he can talk about. It's just a fact that I know. He plays it a lot... Like last night we were talking and was ranting about someone and I'm like 'I have better things to do and better people to talk to. Like you:)' his reply? 'Awww :))) that made me smile:)' yup. He's amazing. But I kinda feel bad cuz I'm talking to this guy and pretty much flirting with him and I have a boyfriend! But...I dunno. I think it's the attention I like. Especially since my bf started wrestling recently and we never talk. Oh wells. Ideas ppl? Bye