For good

So me and the bf broke up... Kinda awkward now. I miss him. And all the I love yous and junk. Oh well. And for clarification I broke up with him. Why you may ask. Well we never talk. And it's like the connection between us was gone. I'm the kinda girl that really needs attention because I'm not used to getting it. I can admit that unlike most girls. And he's too busy for a gf. He is. My excuse not his. He actually didn't seem to really care. That's what bothers me the most. Then again 5 months of dating can't beat a year and 5 months of knowing each other. 5 months isn't even long enough to say I love you. It's waaaay Too short. That's what gets most girls hurt. Guys too. They think they love someone when in reality they live the idea of having a companion and not being alone. I think it was a little bit of that for me. I really do love him tho. Or I think I do. I don't even know anymore. My friends say we're sooo cute together. Then they say I can do better. Then they say I should take him back. Then they say you'll find somebody else fast look at you. And trust me- I'm not that great looking. I'm short and fat and don't really look the best. One of my front teeth have been crooked since I lost it and I wear glasses!! I'm a total nerd and a bitch. I know I am. I'm not athletic. I couldn't run to save my life. (Okay so I probably could but that's beside the point) I can't ride a bike or skate because I have no balance and at this point it's kind of embarrassing not knowing how. At this point i need to follow my heart. But i don't know what to do. I'm clueless. I mean I'm happy we aren't together. But I'm sad we aren't. I think we're better off a part. But i wanna be selfish and keep him. I don't wanna talk to him because it's awkward and kinda sad for me. Yet it kills me to not pick up my phone and text him. I made my decision. And I CAN'T go back. So I guess it's over. For good. Bye