Lost cause

Fuck my life. So we talked for the first time in like two weeks. Fucking hate myself. I ruin everything good that happens in my life. I'll never get another bf I'll never get married or have kids I'll die alone. And that's exactly what I deserve. There is zero chance we'll ever even be friends again. And it sucks. A lot. I killed him a little more on the inside. And probably ruined his night. Oh well. He's ruined the past year and a half for me by existing. I wouldn't be surprised if he never trusted another girl. Me and Shannon destroyed him. I'm no better than her. Therefore I have no right to hate her. Only difference is she had enough sense to not talk to him no matter what. And date two of his best friends.  I'm pathetic. Blogging about a lost cause. Everything bad that's happened to me is karma for the bullshit I'm always pulling. For the next two weeks I'll probably stay secluded in my room. I don't deserve human interaction. Hell I don't deserve to have my pets around me. My moms right. It's over and needs to stay that way. I am sorry for..whatever. I would never lie to him about anything. Stretch the truth sure. Lie- no. So this is it. Bye y'all.