Breaking

I'm thinking about breaking up with milo again:/ I mean I probably won't it's just we like never talk anymore... And it scares me. It really does. Is there someone else? Is he uninterested in me? Is he bored with our relationship? I mean he'll say he's not doing anything but then turns around and won't answer.... And the first, and last, time I broke up with him it was out of fear. I was afraid he was gonna break up with me first. Of course I got over that and we were back together the next day. But still. I'm an insecure, annoying, bitchy, girl. And I know it. I just hope it's not driving him away. And it's long distance. If he really wanted to be with someone else he could. And I'd never know. It's sad to think about these things a week before I plan on seeing him and two weeks or so before our 4 month anniversary.... I mean he said he's happy with our relationship and he loves me but.. I just don't know. I know I love him. But how he feels will always be a mystery to me. And then last night me, tayler, and milo were all talking on Facebook. Me and Tayler started playing truth cause milo wasn't on yet. Well I asked how far she would go with a guy and then she asked me. The truth is: I'd probably only hug a guy. After I said that of course milo was online so he saw it. He kept asking why and all I could say was it scares me. It does. Maybe it's a good scare but still. Being that close to a guy just seems too...I dunno...intimate? I mean I would LOVE to take our relationship to the next step like that but... I'm too scared. I'm afraid it'll happen and he won't like me anymore. Im afraid I'll be a bad kisser. I'm scared because I've never kissed a guy before and he has kissed a girl before. (If you can call Shannon a girl.) I'm scared things will change. And of course it's foolish to think but. Still. Well...I'll try to stop this madness raging in my mind. Til then. Byeee