Ean! And other shiz...

So me and ean are pretty fabulous. It'll be a month on Thursday. So another week. I'm meeting his parents day after tomorrow at 2. They're gonna cook for me. Haha. I'm excited. I really like him. And if he feels like I should meet his parents then I will. I'm the first girl he's brought home. So I'm freaking out a bit. Last night when he told his parents about me his dad thought he was gonna say he's gay and his mom thought he had got a girl pregnant. Lol. Well he may still be gay but I'm def not preggers. Thank Jesus. I want to be pregnant and have kids but not for a long time. A boy and then a girl. Braeden and Kalika. Yea. Strange names. But I love them. Maybe a third child. Named Aubrey. Regardless of its gender. Im gonna wear jeans, converse, a beanie, and a white shirt Saturday. Maybe curled hair. Je ne sais pas. I'm really excited! Super scared. Cuz I mean what if they don't like me? Or I say something stupid? Or I do something wrong? Or I don't like Belizean food? I mean I have a habit of speaking before thinking. And sometimes I say something and it comes off the wrong way. And I just don't want to do anything wrong. I guess I want it to be perfect. I've realized I'm not really OCD. I have an anxiety disorder. Everything has to be one way and I have to have control over it cuz if I don't I freak out. He grabbed my bum and I almost punched him... I'm worried about my dad:/ Both of them actually. And I really miss my mom. Renee. Like a lot. Some days more than others. I wish I was as smart as she was. Trust me, she wasn't gettin no C in chemistry. And people actually have A's in APUSH!! Which means its NOT that hard. I'm just stupid. And my chem teacher tried telling me it's fine that I had a C cuz it is a harder class. And I'm like no it's really not ok. I asked Ean to turnabout or the winter formal whatever same difference. He said yes, of course. Idk why I asked cuz I don't even wanna go. Like I do but I don't. I'm just not in the mood. And if I don't have friends going then I don't wanna go. I'm tired. Welp. I'm gonna go. Byeeeeeeee