first week back from break

Hey yall! This first week back from break has kinda sucked. I've been super tired all week. I dunno haven't been sleeping well. As usual. Anyway! I really like Ean... I know it's gonna come back to bite me in the ass. I fall for guys to quickly and then it ends badly. Ugh. I mean I shouldn't be thinking negatively right? Ean thinks we'll date a long time. All my friends have kinda been like daaaaaaamn when they found out. Or they just haven't said anything. Like Megan hasn't commented, Tami and Ashley and Alison think its cute. And Lauren hasn't really said anything either. Megan and Rachel in my lunch bunch said they saw it coming and Michelle was totally and completely shocked and thinks its weird. Hell, I think it's weird. They all think I'll grow into the relationship. I don't think so as much. Well, I already am I guess. I know he likes me more than I like him though. I mean he said that if I suddenly tuned into a dude he would go gay for me. Whatever. My cousin is leaving tomorrow. And leaving with his friend soon. It sucks. I miss him. I never see him anymore. Since he's in college and stuff. I think I might go to his college. It seems cool. Anyway. I wish he didn't have to leave:/ Or that he could come home sooner than summer. That's like 5 months from now. Or 6. Ugh. He's honestly my favorite cousin. And even though I won't say it to him he's pretty awesome. But awesome-ness runs in our generation. Hahaha. I dunno I feel like I can tell him anything. And he's almost the only person in my family like that. Actually, maybe the only one. We're both the oldest too. I'm 16 and he's 20. 4 year age gap. Like me and my younger siblings. So he fits as if he is my older brother. And I feel like we've always acted more like siblings than cousins anyway. That's the way it should be. My report card comes next week or so. Not looking forward to my mom reading that. All A's and two C's.... I mean it is AP US History and Honors Chem. I suck at chemistry. Like so hard. Then again my teacher isn't the best. I love her but she doesn't explain things well. I dunno. I'm fricken tired. well I'm done. Til next time...Byeee